Funny Quotes of Class S
by CrashedmyHarley
Summary: It's T since, just because. All the funnies from Class S without having to scan through all the chapters! Live long and eat donuts!
1. Quotes from Part 1

Funny Quotes From "Class S" 

"Well, how do YOU know they're female!" Yusuke

"DIE FOOLISH MORTAL!" Ailias or Lee… they both say it at some point

"Only burp if it is not a good time to let it escape another way." Lee

"Does she have a fish stick in her mouth?" Hiei "NO! It's a bite sized fish bar!" Lee

"Honey, I'm home!" Lee

"AH! KURAMA! What're you doing in my Kung Pow Chicken?" Koenma

'Hiei is taking flying lessons at the Chinese Place.' Fortune Cookie

"If I get hung up anymore my hair will do more than defy gravity." Hiei

"This is another scheme to get Hiei on ceiling fan, isn't it?" Koenma "You are not getting in here!" Hiei growled and drew his sword.

"So you know that I know that you said that you aren't going to let us put us in jail." Ailias said. "No, Ailias, he knows that you know that I know that he knows that we're trying to try out a scheme that does not exist." Lee deducted with her chin in her hand. "Ah, my mistake." Ailias agreed.

"How much hair mousse do you use?" "None, baka onna." "Aw come on, don't lie to me. There is no way that your hair can do that without gel. Well, unless you stayed hanging from the fan for about, I'd say, four hours."

"For killing so many people." Koenma said.

"Who killed so many people?" Ailias asked.

"You killed them."

"Killed who?"

"Those people!"

"What people?" Ailias looked back and forth then at Koenma again. "The detectives?"

"No, they're right there!" Koenma shouted.

"Who's right where?" Lee blinked.

"I give up!" Koenma shouted and fell over with his hat steaming.

"Nicely done, kit." Ailias smiled and Lee gave her two thumbs up.

This would lead to a whole new string of suicides.

"I hate this…" Yusuke complained. Lee circled around him like a kitten.

"Hate what?" Lee started.

"This."

"This what?"

"This mission!"

"What mission?"

"This one!"

"One what?"

"The mission we're on!"

"Who's we?"

"US!"

"Us who?"

"You, me, Kuwabara, Kurama, Hiei, and Ailias!"

"And what are we doing?"

"We're on a mission!"

"What mission?"

"Kurama! SAVE ME!"

Kurama tries to hang himself. "Hey fox boy… You're doing it wrong." Ailias

"It'll be OK… Just stay by Kuwabaka and everything will be OK. He, He's one of them!" Hiei

"Can I help you Dark Lord?" Ailias mocked.

"Hn."

"What cha here for? Imouto is asleep."

"You confuse me…"

"Why? Is it my radiant beauty? Do I keep you up at night because you fantasize about me in your dreams? OH! Hiei! You're way out of your league."

"When you're done making a fool of yourself, I'll talk."

"Then speak, or forever rest in peace."

I do believe that Hiei's eye is twitching. Yes, yes, that is a definite twitch I see.

… stealing tooth paste from an entire neighborhood, then break into all the stores and spray the tooth paste everywhere so there's none to buy!" Lee

"Maybe… we can hotwire some cars, fix em up, and sell them for 10 bucks off their original selling price!" Yusuke

"I guess… I could use some sort of criminal actions… Hiei

"Gimme all your tooth paste!" Lee

"Alright, so your point is to keep entertained?" Ailias questions.

"NO!"

"Well, analyzing the situation, if we hadn't have been bored, we wouldn't have done the whole, 'stealing' thing. If we hadn't have done that, Lee wouldn't have gotten pissed off at that guy who she killed. That's one less death. And, Hiei wouldn't have felt the need to kill the other 49. I recall that no one actually died in the tooth paste spread, just injured."

Koenma tries to understand what she said. It does make sense. It really makes sense. Damn it. Koenma sighs and puts his head down on his desk filled with paper work. "Whatever…"

"Nature is calling…" Lee admits. "Don't answer." Kurama

"Sh-sh-she, his m-mom, therewasthisguyandhewasonthebedandhewasn'twearinganything!"

"Oh, and Yusuke, I so love your rubber ducky boxers." Ailias smirked before jumping out of the window.

"I'm wearing rubber ducks?" Yusuke asked looking down.

"BLOOODWRAIIIITH!" Ailias

"And no torturing!" Ailias yelled behind her and a faint 'Dang it!' followed.

Hiei was in a freakishly weird mood. He felt like going over to Kurama's house and helping out with the garden. He walked over to the wall and began to bang his head until there was a dent the size of Yusuke's ego. Bad feeling, bad!

"She's out," He concluded after a few minutes of poking her. Hiei

Hiei stared at the screen of yet another movie. This time, a movie called, 'Sappy and Sappier'. Something we would call a chick flick. Even I am forced to watch those. At the end of this film, Hiei exits in tears. Aw! He has a soft side too! He beats himself up for displaying such an emotion.

She looked odd wearing an apron. It read, 'Kiss the Cook and Have Your Head Removed'. Pleasant. Ailias, this was not said.

"I know things too." Ailias commented. Hiei turned around to her.

"Like what?"

"Yusuke's Mom is dirty." Ailias Hiei chuckled.

"Something I found out a long time ago." He turned to leave once more.

"Did you see a naked man in her bed too?" Hiei's eyes widened . He stopped quickly. Too. Much. Info.

"When you're done yelling at inanimate objects, tell me. I'll be out front laughing until my rear blows off from pressure build up." Atani… evil girl… lady… dead person…

"No one makes Ailias suffer, she makes _them_." Hiei

"You seem to have been in a fight with a pin cushion." Kurama

"Suuichi told you," Youko teased. Ailias growled and transformed back into her demon form." " 'Suuichi' can shove it,"

"Where'd these demons come from?" Kuwabara asks dumbly. "Their mothers?" Yusuke

"Yeah? How? Huh? Huh!" Lee said, getting closer to Koenma's face over the desk as she said each word. Then she flipped over the desk, continued, crawled under, and stood by Ailias again. "It's a conspiracy." She whispered darkly.

"You will say, 'No one expects the Spanish inquisition!'" Ailias shouted into Lee's ear then cuffed her against the side of the head.

"I am not cute, I am not little, I am going to give you hell if you call me it again." Lee said in a flat, deadpan voice.

In the classroom! (I still love cut scenes!) Niki… you scare me sometimes. Sigh…

In the cafeteria with the homies! Happiness! (We're too jumpy… what cha looking at? Niki? You just gargled inside your Pepsi… Ok…No, that's not music… I'm leaving… STOP LICKING YOURSELF!) It tastes good…

"But DOOMING is fooon! (Fun)" Lee cried.

"Hey everybody! I'm sorry, but I can't let you watch a movie. Don't got one. On the other hand…" Ailias trailed off as the curtain opened.

She grabs a clock beside the bed. It reads, 'Ungodly Hour.' Ailias, also not said…

"No, she said they left. _I_ was thrown off a cliff." Hiei corrected, then sat at the table to have himself some chocolate chip pancakes.

"HOLY HELL THAT FROZE OVER, MELTED THEN FROZE OVER AGAIN!" Koenma

Yusuke sits at his kitchen table. Why? I don't know. He just is. A vase falls off the shelf and he catches it. Then, he drops it and a smirk appears over his features.

Kurama walks into Koenma's office with Hiei who has chocolate covering the rim of his mouth.

"Uh… they took over the nearest CVS store and started throwing tooth paste around after they ate about 5 thousand chocolate chip pancakes. Hiei helped in the pancake department." Kurama

"I was looking at the thing they call the… internet I think, and someone put a question up… It was, 'Why do gas stations lock their bathrooms? Is someone going to steal the faucet?' Weird." Ailias

"Once they've destroyed one CVS, they go to another one…" Why CVS? Dunno… I just really like the place. Yes, I like it enough to destroy it in this fanfiction.

"Yes! We will go to the one they'd go to after they one they went to after this one!" Kurama. He also said the one above this one.

**After such a mushy moment**, (KJ: ah, I think I got reunion mush all over my shoe… Niki: ntch, ntch, ntch. You should have been watching where you step.)

**Now in Koenma's office:** (Just for Niki… she supposedly like's cut scenes…)

"You didn't want me Daddy?"

"No, honey. Daddy loves you."

"H-how could you? You haven't been around. …" Silence. "Damn it I gotta pee!" Pin head eyes again. Lee hip-hopped out of the office in search for a bathroom.

"Up to me, huh?" Lee told her self. She leaned her back against the sink. "Well, let's see. I love my Nee-san… but I haven't seen my parents in, like, 40 years plus one week… Well, actually… more like 5 minutes and 18.5 seconds… uh…" She cut herself off. "Y'know, I'm kinda hungry!"

Broken vases littler his kitchen floor and a satisfied grin is on his face. He stands up and walks over to the china cabinet. Yusuke. Not said. Done. Was done… Yusuke did it DAMN IT!

"Hey, we're out of ice cream!" Lee

"I'm a poo monkey?" Yusuke

"Gee Yusuke, you probably should have slung Hiei over your shoulder so he wouldn't blow up any towns." Lee

" 'Severely injured' he says," Yusuke repeated. "Doesn't that mean they could still die?"

"Yes," Hiei told him. "But that does not mean that they died by my hand. They merely died as a result of the injuries I caused them."

"That's one fancy way of saying, 'I killed them'."

"Yes it is, detective. Has your vocabulary enhanced, or were you always this smart?" Conversation between Yusuke and Hiei.

"Do you wish to spoil it foolish half mortal!"

"You, off my planet!"

"Whaddya mean, 'Who are _we_?' We control your every move!"

"Y'all suck ass."

"They make fun of our insanity and our power over their every move…" KJ's eye twitches as she enters her, 'Mad Scientist' stage.

An hour later, cake is… caked on the walls, silly string covered the floors and ceiling, water balloon leftovers are sprinkled in the lawn, and no one can seem to find Kurama… well, except for us author people, but we'd rather keep you in the dark, just cause we're mean like that. Everyone sang the Birthday song to Botan, yes, even Hiei. We, uh… _persuaded_ him to cooperate.

"ARG! Let. Me. GO!"

"No."

"WHY!" She whined.

"You're injured. And if I let you leave, you'll just do something stupid and make it worse."

"How do you know?"

"You always do that."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Really?"

"Really."

"Really, really?"

"Stop that." Ailias turned her head and eyed the demon in ningen form, her bindings glowing.

"Well, if you really know me that well, then what am I going to do next?"

"Call for Lee."

"Damn you."

"You could have just lied y'know."

"Damn you X2!"

"You're acting very childish." He told her. "Yeah, well, at least I'm taller than a child!"

"Nee-san! Don't you dare try to do anything without healing first! If you do… I-I'll go back to my parents! There's your ultimatum…" She finally noticed the tinge on red across both Ailias and Kurama's face. "Did you two get in a fight or did I interrupt something?"


	2. Quotes from Part 2

Funny Quotes From Class S Part 2: 

Behold… Enjoy… 

"Hay is for llamas or dim wits such as your self!" Lee

At some fancy place with the love birds! I mean Ailias and Kurama! Cut Scene

"You know what?" He opened one eye.

"You're hungry?"

"Damn you."

"You could have lied you know."

"Damn you x2." Convo. Between Ailias and Kurama

Meanwhile with toddler man! Cut Scene  
"I AM NOT A TODDLER!" He screamed at yours truly.

"THAT'S NOT IN THE SCRIPT!" Convo. Between Koenma and KJ, AKA CrashedmyHarley

"Is this another dumb mission that you overreact about because you think we'll get drunk or something in the process?" Lee

"Besides my lack of security, this is a very important matter!" Koenma

Don't worry, I'm not going to pop in and say, OMG! THAT'S NOT , THAT'S HIS STUNT-DOUBLE! Rant by KJ, AKA, CrashedmyHarley

"I choose my head. I like it attached to my neck. It looks good there. Are we off?" Quinn

"I'd shake your hand, but the dim wit over there just touched you. I'd rather not be contaminated." Ailias

"You probably would have only blown up _half_ of China if we hadn't of gone on a murder spree there." Ailias

"So who's hungry?" Hiei

After Kuwabara Spewed Chunks: Cut Scene

"Lee," Ailias whispered as they walked through the dense forest to continue their search for the… uh… hold on, I gotta check my sources… RIGHT! The search for the three spirit items! Dur, how could I forget _that_? _I_ wrote it! Damn assed forgetful me! Excuse me while I beat myself up to a point where I'll wake up in the morning and scream because I think there is something behind me! Now I will rant and shout curses at my self. This will take a brief moment so I suggest you go to the bathroom or get something to eat at this time. Think of this as a commercial break. ………………………………………………………………………………………………….Insert cry of pain here ………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………. Censor. Very long, annoying censor. My ears, they bleed! ………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………That all I got! BRING IT ON! **Niki**: Uh… KJ… I think you can stop beating yourself up now… You just forgot. No big deal. The story _will_ go on, unless you knock yourself into a coma. Then… it, well, won't. So, for the sake of the chap- **KJ**: I'm in the middle of a very important conversation! OW! Please lecture me on my homework habits later! OW! PAIN! **Niki**: O…K… The story will now continue. Very, very long rant by KJ aka, CrashedmyHarley, and Niki, aka, Ailias Kurai

"Well _we_ know a lot about this guy then, huh! For all we know, he could be taking us to this demon so we can watch as the world is mutilated! Or worse! Watch as the world is 'pretty-fied' just so we can be tortured by its sweetness!" Rant by Ailias

"Hey, when you two are done with your little 'pow-wow' you can join us over here and gasp." Yusuke

They stood over a crater about as big as Japan and the rest of China's population combined. Well, let's just say that each of those people could fit in here and have a decent amount of elbow room. Crashed…

"Yes. We teenagers are quite the handful, aren't we?" Kurama

Oh, yeah, I've decided to make use of the _Italics_ button. IT'S FUN! Crashed once again ranting…

"Do you think she's OK?" Kurama asked with concern.

"I sure hope she's at least dressed…" Kuwabara said, absent mindedly.

"OK, the first thing that comes to mind after, 'There is a demon behind Lee' is, 'I hope she's dressed'! For Enma's Sake!" Yusuke scolded. "But, it would be very helpful if she were dressed…" Everyone kept quiet in this awkward moment…

She dodged tree after tree, until one tree had a really big trunk that Ailias didn't realize the size of until she crashed into it. Ailias crashed…

Ug… so _that's_ where Ailias put the underwear… Quinn… fake Quinn… Ramous, stuffed some cloth into Lee's mouth. She also could not find any underwear when she was getting dressed…

"This is worse than any old demon." Quinn corrected Hiei.

"Really? A Young demon?" Kuwabara joined in.

"What took you so long?" Lee asked her Nee-san.

"My lunch didn't agree with me." Ailias and Lee… WEE!

Elvis impersonator. KJ describing Kuwabaka

In the words of Hiei, "That's just bitchin for him."

Grief therapy sessions will be held on Monday… KJ's rantings at the end of CHPT 5, Part 2

Lee walked over to him with her mixing bowl and a spoon, stirring three times one direction and three times in the other.

How's that? HUH? Can't-hear-you! Too-fuzzy. Leave-review-please. Get-back-soon-as-fuzziness- clears. (Static) KJ ranting at the end of CHPT 6, Part 2. Seriously. REVIEW! … Please?

KJ: I like orange juice.

Niki: Well bully for you.

KJ: Especially when there's no pulp…

Niki: Aren't you special?

KJ: I'm getting negative vibes…

Niki: I'd be happy if there weren't any vibes.

KJ: You OK?

Niki: NO! My father is my monkey and my monkey is brother and my brother is my mother and my mother is the son of an ape!

KJ: . … You wanna run that by me again?

Niki: Wah…

KJ: Orange juice?

Kitty: No, I'm allergic. What up?

KJ: Niki has monkey issues. I think it's best to let her be…

Niki at a far away distance, though she is still audible: And that ape, was ME!

Kitty: I see… RUN!

Niki: May the blue bird of happiness fly up your nose!

Kitty: That's my line!

Niki: I had a seizure!

KJ: HEY! Don't you dare start telling a story that starts and ends with having a seizure! That's ALL me!

Niki: Then who am _I_!

KJ and Kitty together: QUIT QUOTEING KUWABARA! Random Break Through Moment, CHPT 7… Yeah…

In Their Fancy Pantsy Hotel Room:

Hee, enjoy the… STUFF! The… uh… what's the word I'm looking for? AH! Hell with it, his name was Steve. Sorry, couldn't help it. Blooper from the Ruroni Kenshin DVDs… heh… anywho, I'll probably remember the word at like, 2… SEES YAS! Da current time is 9:38 and 21 seconds, 23, 25, 27, 28, … uh… hell with it…XD KJ likes to rant…

"Follow me."

"Why?" Lee started up her game again.

"Because I said so."

"Who said so?"

"I did."

"Did what?"

"Rrg, just follow me."

"Follow who?"

"Me."

"You?"

"Yes, me."

"Why?"

"Because you are unfit to battle."

"Who is?"

"YOU!"

"You-who?" Convo. Between Lee and Enchantress Nurse Lady…

SHE JUST SPRAINED HER BOYFRIEND'S FUCKING KNEES FOR ENMA'S SAKE! Ailias is having a spaz attack because she sprained Kurama's knees…

He tried to reach for the remote which was placed just out of his reach on the coffee table. He kept stretching his arm until, WHOOPS! He fell off the couch. Nice.

"Uh… HEY! Anyone wanna give me some help! HELLO!" His head drooped. "Man!"

"Oh," Juri continued. "It seems that Kurama from Team Urameshi is unable to battle due to sprains in both his knees. How'd he manage that Team Urameshi?"

"Ailias jumped on them," Hiei said coldly.

"One potato, Two potato, Three potato, Four. Five potato, Six potato, Seven potato, more," Kurama chanted on the ground, twiddling his thumbs. A service person, dude passed by the open door. "HEY! HELP!" The service person, dude looked in the room, then left when he didn't see anyone. "ON THE FLO-uh… One potato, Two potato…"

Well? Is this major Foreshadowing or what? What do _you_ think'll happen? Do you think Lee's mouth will get her into _more_ trouble? Doesn't it always? Why am I asking _you _questions? ALL OF THESE SHALL BE ANSWERED NEXT CHAPTER! I need to stop ranting… OH! KJ, AKA: CrashedmyHarley

"I'll get you!" Yusuke said as he swayed from side to side, pressing many buttons on his game controller.

"Yeah, well, my monkey has no first name!" Ailias chided. She calmly moved around her joy-stick.

"Hey. What up Kuwabara?" Lee asked. "Finally realize that there are nine planets?" Kuwabaka walked in looking more confuzzled than usual.

He stood and brushed his jiggly, Jell-O figure off. Some dude after Lee did a front flip and landed on him.

"I spit on the little ningens! SPLUH!" Ailias on a roller coaster after she mutilated everyone standing in line for the ride. Nice.

She spat down at the poor, mutilated bodies of the ningens who were merely in the wrong line at the wrong time, and encountered the wrong demon who merely wanted to have fun. What a wonderful life… Uh… Same description as the one above… yeah…

"_WHO GAVE HIEI CHOCOLATE!_" Yusuke after Hiei got on a sugar high and forced fed a chocolate bar w/ almonds down the throat of a human who has an allergy to nuts.

"Did you two enjoy yourselves?" Kurama asked with a smile. Ailias latched onto his arm.

"Sure did!" She cheered.

"DITTO!" Lee yelled. "But, could you save the romance for after hours, please? I don't want to throw up." Ailias, still attached to Kurama, smirked. She let go of Kurama and smothered Lee in a hug.

"AH!" Lee screamed. "HELP! DEATH BY EMBRACE!"

AH! ME WANT CHOCOLATE CAKE! Niki, you want chocolate cake? Niki? Hm… musta hung up… (Hangs up phone and pokes a sleeping Niki beside me.) Niki… you want cake? CrashedmyHarley at like… 3 something in the morning without an ounce of sleep and buckets upon buckets of coffee and Hershey's Chocolate Kisses.

REVIEW! REVIEW! Review if you know what's good for you! (Glares) … (Sobs) PLEAASE! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! (sniffle) … … … … … I'll make a Part 3 of Class S…? Hey! I'm bribing here!


End file.
